A Counsel of One

I don’t need your opinion

I am a counsel of one

I know what I think

And what needs to be done.

I never received attunement, feedback,

Or validation of my fears

And when I did question

I was immediately shut down for so many years.

What I was told to be true

Did not feel right inside

But my family held to the party line

Out of ignorance and pride.

So I answer to no one

Except “me in my head”

This protection has kept me quite safe

Being out of control is what I most dread

It has not served me well

At many times through my life

Because it has kept me closed

From letting others in, and has caused much strife

Whenever someone questions me,

I feel an unusual amount of shame

And until very recently

It was this I was unable to name

For I don’t want to remain a counsel of one

It is lonely and twisted

But my thought and my plans

Have stubbornly resisted

God help me to open my mind

To your wisdom and truth

So that I don’t stay stuck

In the ruts from my youth

PRM – 5/24/22